Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Transformers: The Last Knight: The Spoiler FAQ

i09.com has posted their snarky (but to me very accurate) take on Transformers: The Last Knight with their "FAQ" that is a pretend Q&A about the film. It does get into all the spoilers so don't read if have not seen the film but plan to. Below is a sample, you can read the TF5 FAQ here.
Why can’t Michael Bay keep track of the canon of his own four films?
I have a theory. You know how babies’ brains haven’t developed, so whenever their parents wander directly out of their eyesight, they start crying because they assume their parents, having disappeared from view, must be gone forever?

Yeah…

It’s called object permanence, and Michael Bay doesn’t have it either. Once he is done with a Transformers movie, he completely forgets everything that’s happened in it, and he starts the next one with his brain as smooth as a baby’s bottom. It’s the reason why the Transformers are always hunting for a new dumb object that is the most important thing in the universe that no one has ever mentioned before, why Megatron sometimes dies but is suddenly fine in the next movie, why after the Autobots save the Earth in very public ways all Transformers are always being hunted when the next film starts, and why humans keep making dumb, dumb, dumb partnerships with the Decepticons even though the Decepticons keeps trying to kill humanity every. Single. Time.

All of which happens in The Last Knight, of course.

5 comments:

  1. While I'm not a Bay fanboy I have to disagree. I get Michael Bay gets a lot of hate simply because he's all about explosions but the director doesn't have near as much say in the writing as people seem to think. He has a job to interpret the story he is given. That's why there was a writers room instead of Bay holed up in his office writing an entire script. He can make suggestions but he can't rewrite the story. That being said (and it should be of no surprise) I have very much enjoyed the series and what they are. Looking forward to the next.

    To the blog writer...I've noticed over the years that you are pretty consistently hating on the Transformers movies...which leads to me wonder why do you run a TF movie website? While I don't doubt that you like Transformers it's obvious you don't care a lot for the movies.

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    Replies
    1. And I disagree with you! Bayformers don't make much sense. He has no respect for the original stories or characters. He doesn't try to properly tell a story. All of his films are POS. To ask why would the blogger run a TF website if he's hating on the movies is just ridiculous. Being a Transformer fan is beyond the movie and unfortunately, you do have to support Bayformers so that it hopefully leads to something better. If Transformers failed the first time, it may take 20 years to reconsider it...but when it succeed, they will keep making movies and hopefully some of them will be good.

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    2. it would be a ridiculous question if it was a website dedicated to all things Transformers. However,it's dedicated to a movie franchise he/she doesn't care for. The question that was asked was why run a TF MOVIE website. You will have to take up your angst over the storyline with the writers. You know the guys who write the screenplay for the movie that Bay gets paid to direct.I enjoy the movies. They certainly aren't masterpieces by any far stretch but they aren't "oh my god these are horrible"

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  2. Dear Blog Writer. The Movies are Garbage and your Opinions and Posts have made me happy. BayFormers are an abomination .

    Keep up the good work

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  3. The blog writer can only do so much...I don't think there is a signed good review of this movie online...what is he supposed to do..link to made up articles and cite false numbers to prove his love for the movies?.

    Also...yes Bay may not write the script...but using "we don't write the script so whatever" is a lame excuse.

    It could well be that the writers did do a good job and Bay just didn't see the right amount of stupidity in it so changed it.

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