Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review Round-Up II

Another review round-up for Transformers: Dark of the Moon. The second wave of reviews averages an up the middle review but only because those that liked it really liked it and those that didn't pretty much just hated it and didn't hold back.

Entertainment Weekly B
Dark of the Moon is hardly a fleet production, but here Bay makes his best, most flexible use yet of all the flamboyant bigness at his command: Computer-drawn characters and human actors seem to occupy the same narrative for once.

Collider B-
You have to grind through 90 minutes of tedium to get to the chewy, chocolate-y center of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. There are moments where the jokes work and the earlier action scenes are kind of cool, but the movie’s sole purpose is to drive you to the spectacle at the end of the 3D rainbow. It’s the rare film I can point to and say “If you’re going to see it, see it in 3D” because the silliness of the technology is perfectly matched to the silliness of the movies that Michael Bay makes. Swerving wildly between the insultingly stupid the ironically idiotic, Dark of the Moon is Bay at his worst and at his best.

The Hollywood Reporter
When the 154-minute Transformers: Dark of the Moon finally ends, your feeling is one of exhaustion, not exhilaration. Pleased with his first effort but downright apologetic about the second Transformers movie, director Michael Bay has thrown every imaginable visual effect, CG animation and physical stunt, all in 3D, into the battle for planet Earth. Bay really needed a gag shot where one alien transforms itself into the kitchen sink.

Bleeding Cool
If you have a young son or nephew you’re sure to have seen them at it. Clutching one action figure in each grubby little fist and repeatedly smashing them together as he softly growls to himself the coolest one liners from a dozen superhero movies. This is the script that was playing in his head as he did that. How emotionally invested you can get in a fight between two action figures is open to debate however, no matter how many Samuel Barber references are squeaked into the underscore. This Roboterdammerung is impressive to look at, and fun in parts, but like the talking car showroom that forms the main part of the cast, it’s a little thin on heart.

Chicago Tribune 1.5 stars/?
a work of ineffable soullessness and persistent moral idiocy, concludes with Chicago taking it in the shorts for 50-odd minutes, at the hands of the Decepticons in an alien takeover scored, partially, to an emo-ballad mourning the "cataclysm" of it all.

Empire Magazine 2/5 stars
An improvement on Transformers 2, but then what isn’t? To paraphrase the Bard, it’s a tale, full of sound and fury and extremely stupid dialogue and nonsensical plotting and preposterous stunts and robots punching each other’s heads off, signifying nothing. Needless to say, it’s going to be huge.

Roger Ebert 1/5
a visually ugly film with an incoherent plot, wooden characters and inane dialog. It provided me with one of the more unpleasant experiences I've had at the movies.

NY Daily News 1/5 stars
if you're looking for a shock-and-awe experience, the third in history's most bombastic summer series will do the trick. There's no arguing you'll leave feeling like you were assaulted by an army of alien robots yourself. Anyone hoping to engage even a single brain cell, however, is out of luck.


  1. HAHAHA i knew Roger Ebert review is going to be the best..

  2. who gives a rats ass what these people say, weren't these the same people who said thor was so great. If thats their standard you can expect more of this, its truly amazing how disconnected the critics are from the fans plus the fact that they never liked bay to begin with so these stupid reviews dont surprize me one bit

  3. Haters ruining it for yourself. your loss.

  4. If you look at the reception from the fans its quite clear critics are completely irrelevent. 90% of audience liked it, 38% of so called critics liked it at RT. That pretty much sums it up and thats every where across the web, while it wasn't perfect but than again what movie is, to me it was great to watch in 3d and the sound affects were just incredible, going to watch it again

  5. Just saw the film @ Midnight. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. As a fan of the first, loyal fan of the second (harder to swallow but i forgive) this third installment really knows how to pace the action. It doesn't show all the good stuff in a matter of 10-15 min. Bay really did a good job of getting character development and plot in between awesome 3D action sequences. GO SEE IT NOW

  6. I am a supporter of 3 D and can't wait to see future development, but the science of blending CGI 3 D and real time 3 D just isn't there yet. A computer can render a full character front to back in full 3 D, while the current cameras make people cardboard cut outs with space front to back between them. Avatar was acceptable because only 20 percent was human. Transformers was an inversion in percentage. That is my ONLY complaint, the movie did what it was made to do, be a real life saturday morning cartoon.

  7. I love that the internet/youtube has made everyone with a camera and or connection into an official movie critic. Not everyone looks for the same thing in movies. I've seen movies that I personally thought were terrible go on and win tons of awards. And then great movies get snubbed by crap that has a been overhyped due to a huge tween following. Eveyone is a critic, and people take other people's opinions without the grain of salt that needs to be there. Go see the movie, form your own opinion, and remember that you are reading this on the internet, which makes you just as credable as the next guy.

  8. You critics arent true tf fans so who the F cares what you say or think assholes

  9. the whole concept of criticizing anything to someone else other then yourself is f***ing dumb!! I can't believe its even a profession for Christs sake! Mind as well be a "food critic" of professional "foot smeller"> and yes...they do exist :/

    You can give a "technical breakdown" of a particular movie...but as soon as "your" individual OPINION comes in to play, it becomes no more professional than any of ours!! This is true.

    So if you like the movie or if you hated the movie...its all fine! But broadcasting it and calling it a profession is utter bull sh!t !!

    There is no such thing as an unbiased opinion, and in reality there is no such thing as a professional "critic" ...its just another SUBJECTIVE OPINION passed off as an occupation :D !!

    Anywho, I will make up my own mind about the movie, and whether they liked it or not, these "critics" can all take a flying F*** !!

    Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, see it and decide for yourselves :D!!

    Peace !!

  10. This is the best 3D movie I've ever seen. You can really see the difference when 3D cameras are used vs post conversion. Thank God Bay knows what he's doing. This movie, I think, was the best of the 3, and definitely had some twists to it that I didn't see coming. Bay ended this on a high note, and if I could kiss his feet, I would. THANK YOU BAY!!!!! 10/10!!!!! Will probably be seeing this movie everyday until I go broke. YAY FOR TRANSFORMERS!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :B

  11. Well blog master I've seen it, I know you've seen it, I'm waiting to read what you think of it & I know it's going to kick off a war of the posts!

  12. I thought the film was amazing, except for all the mindless scenes with john malkovich and ken jeong

  13. IMO the audience, the critics, and the fans are all very different groups of people.

    I could tell most people in my audience were just causal movie goers wanting to see the new big thing everyone was talking about. I think they enjoyed the movie the most overall, because it was just a movie to them.

    Fans overall (not all) were probably the most disappointed but not necessarily for the same reasons the critics are, or in some cases for the very reasons. I mean we're fans of these characters for a reason and when they disrespect the characters, we're not going to be rainbows and sunshine over it.

    The movie was fine for a summer movie. Great visuals, epic scenes and action, funny lines but as a Transformers fan, the TFs are always lacking the most which is a disappointment. I'm glad they're still caring to make series like TF: Prime so we can actually see our favorites and get character development and not have people die in such stupid ways (for the most part).

  14. This movie is beyond the best of the three and I recommend true Transformers fans to see this movie. Do not take to heart what critics say because that is what they do, the just get paid for it. This movie has a much stronger story than the 2nd movie and Bay really focused on the human interaction, robots interaction, and finally robot/human interaction that allowed some depth to the characters. I was just a little sad at the out of the movie, but you are going to have to go see it for yourselves to know what I am talking about. Go and watch this movie for yourself and as someone mentioned make your own decision about the movie.

  15. fans over all were not disapointed, your speaking for yourself, most fans, not all liked the movie that's across the board,so please stop speaking for everyone it drives me fucking nuts. To me it was far from perfect but it was a very powerful movie, the sound was awesome,and i think the special affects were some of the best i ever seen, but that's just my opinion

  16. Superb special effects....horrible horrible movie otherwise ...the plot is confusing, could not understand what some of the scenes in the movie were for ...cringe-worthy comedy and just all round bad bad acting...regardless...the fight scenes are the best ever , except for some strange reason the actions scenes break for some more lame comedy . Maybe bay should just be hired as an action scene consultant or something ...have a real director handle the rest

  17. Seeing it in Real 3D Was a totally different experience than the IMAX. I actually liked the 3D better in the Real 3D. Why?

  18. Oh and did anyone get the name of that song in the beginning that isn't in the soundtracks by that band with a short name??

  19. ok here is your beloved "professional critics" at their best:

    Over at "rotten tomatoes" TF3 DOTM has a critic rating of "ROTTEN" with 37% APPROVAL RATE AMONG 130+ "critics."

    But the "users rating poll" ..all 60,000 + users gave the movie a 90% approval rating!! Shall I say more about these moronic so called pro critics?

    Also the movie "cars" has a 33% approval rating there now making it (ROTTEN)according to over 100 so called critics...yet mr "I'm a professional movie critic" himself, Roger Ebert loved Cars and is giving it his coveted 3.5 stars out of 4.

    Even these jack asses can't agree...they are all over the much for the professionals:/
    ...hence the total CROCK OF SH!T that we know as movie critics.

    Here endeth the lesson,
    Gods speed
    and what ever else you can come up with

    go watch the movie...enjoy it...hate it...whatever, just don't let these professional losers tell you what to do ;)

    That's my final rant on asshat movie critic wannabe's ;)...promise!

  20. What can I say? That HATERS GONNA HATE, no matter what happens.

    And the rewiews critics usually writes the rewiews as a basis of their own opinions (Robert Ebert, for example).

    And the most important is that I liked the movie, and there's no way that the pitiful, whining critics could destroy my happiness :D .


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